⋆꩜˚⋆Coordinates of Now⋆˚꩜⋆
a monthly letter from this body, in this moment in time | April 2026
⋆꩜˚⋆Coordinates of Now⋆˚꩜⋆
a monthly letter from this body, in this moment in time
(Skip to halfway down to miss me on the deep end & hop straight to the fun stuff).
I think it’s been about a year since I did a proper life update. Hi! How are you? Who are you now that you weren’t the last time we spoke like this?
So much happened in the last year I don’t even know where to begin, or how. It’s my intention to write one newsletter a month, speaking personally from my body at this moment in time— so I suppose I begin right here, the Coordinates of now.
In the past I used my personal life as inspiration for my work and shared with little pause for integrating my own experience. As I’ve become more intimate with my process, I have slowed down the immediacy of my sharing. I’ve learned that my body feels the impressions of an experience, and in the days, weeks, and months that follow, the bigger picture begins to land. (I’ve learned this asymmetrical processing is common for neurodivergent folks.)
I’m finally reaching the other side of a year that nearly broke me— as all my naive illusions about people and spirituality got to the core of where my neurodivergence coalesced with the imprints of my enmeshed origin story. Yikes. Fun!! I learned a lot— mostly lessons I didn’t want to learn, but am better for having been through.
After the Year of the Snake, I’ve needed integration time. And slowly, my defenses are softening. I feel myself beginning to trust people again. The words are coming back as I no longer curate them for any listener. Confidence is returning, ever so slowly, a fortification of my inner being in a way I have never known before. I feel the clarity in my voice, the width of my shoulders, my head high, and a profound sense of self-trust that only comes after you grieve what’s been lost for honoring your truth and rage out for all the years of subtle self-abandonment in hopes of securing belonging. It’s no small task to stay open when everything in your body wants to disappear.
Even now I feel the wave of tenderness, vulnerability, and slight embarrassment sharing this with you. Fighting thoughts like, “I’m just being dramatic. People are probably on this email list who will screenshot and forward this to the group chat I’ve been humiliated in. I’m just acting like a victim.” Classic thoughts for those who have a history of being gaslit— fuck. Anyway, I’m sitting outside this gorgeous coffee shop with a matcha, facing the forest, and someone just started mowing… fuck!
So that’s what it’s like to be me at this moment in time:
Vulnerable. Unsure. Hopeful. Caffeinated. Angry at the mass shootings, the gRapists, praying for justice. I had a big cry about it all with a small dose of mushrooms in my backyard yesterday. My eyes are clearer today because of it.
And in the middle of all of it, life kept moving— here’s how I’ve been moving with it (the fun stuff!)
Here is how I’ve been verbing lately–
⋆꩜˚⋆Listening–
My Zara Larsson obsession continues. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. “Light Up” is my favorite song on the new Robyn album. Concert tickets in the bag. I’m also loving new find, Holly Humberstone. Moody, sweet, ever-longing-style pop. Yes.
⋆꩜˚⋆Dancing–
My friend Mel (who happens to be a doctoral candidate in the realm of psychedelics and embodiment) and I have begun an in-person event called Body Temple. If you’re in Springfield, MO check it out! Our next event is Sunday April 26!
⋆꩜˚⋆Wearing–
I wore this sexy number to my bestie (and operations manager’s) birthday this weekend. I lost a lot of followers for sharing it, lol, so stupid.
With 4 planets in Leo, I LOVE playing with self-expression, and see adornment as a portal to our innate dignity. Clothes continue to be a way I enjoy my body and bring delight to my days.
⋆꩜˚⋆Remembering–
Slowly, slowly I am remembering my playful, creative and spirited Self after a year of so much grief and disillusionment. Alchemy, baby.
⋆꩜˚⋆Achieving–
I graduated from Module 14 of Alchemical Alignment: Birth!
A 3-year journey through the depths of somatic alchemy now complete. Since November we have been exploring Death and Birth dynamics, and I cannot say enough good things about doing trauma-resolution work with the earliest, pre-verbal imprints. I’m truly proud of myself for the resolve it’s taken both personally and professionally to get through this training.
⋆꩜˚⋆Longing–
Am I ever not longing? Nostalgic longing. Longing for connection with beloveds I haven’t met. Longing for the end of the patriarchal death cult. Longing for justice. Longing for dance parties with everyone I’ve ever loved. Longing for quiet moments at home…
⋆꩜˚⋆Reading–
My favorite book of late was The Culting of America. I’m currently reading Undreaming Witiko. Both spell out aspects of the patriarchal cult as it is seen in the Western body, whiteness, and all systems of oppression. I highly recommend both, and probably talking to a mental health practitioner alongside them if you have spiritual trauma. ;) My book club is encouraging me to read more fun books, like fantasy. But babes I just love what I love!!!
⋆꩜˚⋆Sensing–
I am going to a new gym and working out 5x a week in group classes. I feel the burn in my legs, the humid sweat and how it curls my flattened hair, the strength I’m building. It feels GOOOOOD. And wow– getting up and moving my body rather than doing my tea ceremony, tarot cards and journaling was just the change I needed. There is a season for everything, and in this season my body says STOP RUMINATING AND LIFT SOMETHING HEAVY.
⋆꩜˚⋆Creating–
It’s been quite the creative month. I got my elbows deep in clay creating a wall altar and I am so proud of and a paper mâché castle tower complete with a medieval unicorn for a friend’s birthday. Now I am obsessed and have plans for more! Also, disappointed at how challenging it is to come across newspaper!
⋆꩜˚⋆Relating–
Exploring my relationship to the projection field and simply saying the thing I want to say. Doing the thing I want to do and not picking up and managing reactions. Relating to myself by noticing where I used to take on the projection of others, altering my shape or actions to be more pleasing/accommodating/less threatening. I’m delighted to notice as old impulses arise,I am not adapting to expectations as readily anymore. I am simply relating to my own discomfort with making others uncomfortable. FUN!
So babes, that sums up the Coordinates of NOW.
What’s it like to be you today?
XX-Madison
⋆꩜˚⋆ P.S. I’ve also been coaching–
With a full schedule of clients and really juicy group calls inside The Fortress, I am just so pleased with the intimate work I’m witnessing in my clients.
These humans are healing ancestral disconnection, finding dignity where there was distortion, reclaiming sexual vitality after violation, unmasking & fortifying the Self, discovering who they are when they aren’t afraid, taking accountability, creating village, divesting from systems of oppression in big and small ways. (It’s never quite “small” work though, is it– to claim your dignity and worth in a culture that tells you you’re never enough as you are?)
What an honor to get an up-close view of anyone’s process. My private practice is waitlisted until July, but if you want in on The Fortress, doors open soon and you can be waitlisted right here.
Thanks for being YOU & for gifting me your attention, Sacred Heart.
Here’s my exclusive free Call Your Energy Back Somatic Hypnosis. Go ahead gift yourself a nervous-system reset - just 10 minutes & you’ll feel more spacious, settled & safe in your own body. Let yourself receive the gift of your own attention (it is, after all, the most precious currency).
If you want to micro-dose The Fortress & get a feel for this work,
take the Sacred Sword Ritual Workshop now.
thank u