I’m so greedy for all life has to offer.
“Selfish” was the word that haunted me. “Too much” was the curse that deemed me unlovable. “Intense” was the force I could not tame, despite trying my darnedest.
As a reminder, the Garden of Goodness is a personal writing space, separate from my private practice marketing emails. If you’ve decided you no longer want personal writing, poetry or updates from me, feel free scroll to the bottom of this email and unsubscribe- no hard feelings. ;)
Do you ever read old journals, struck by the resonance of what a younger version of you seemed to be channeling, so a future version could return, remember & be comforted by your own knowing?
That’s how I felt this week when I read this email— one I originally released a year ago today.
Life is a spiral. Healing is a spiral. Knowing is a spiral.
We are continually revisiting the same concepts from new heights and depths. We are traversing old wounds in new ways, uncovering our Essence little bits at a time as we remember, and forget, and remember again.
As I prepare to open the doors to the MUCHNESS MASTERMIND, I am reminded that my own longing is sacred & my greed for life, necessary.
I pray your own muchness has a space to be unshamed, welcomed & celebrated.
-M
I’m so greedy for all life has to offer—
I used to say “I’m not much of a crier.”
I used to pretend. “I don’t need much,” I’d say.
But it turns out I’m a bleeding heart, greedy for life.
I do want it all.
No “half-ways” or “almost’s”– I want the full fucking Truth. I want to be deeply, devotedly, delightfully satisfied. I want to reach for nothing and receive it all.
I’m greedy for life.
Like many of us who were raised to be “good” above all else, I once felt the need to downplay my hunger for life. I tamed my courageous heart and made flat and dull the sparkle in my eyes.
“Selfish” was the word that haunted me.
“Too much” was the curse that deemed me unlovable.
“Intense” was the force I could not tame, despite trying my darnedest.
I’m greedy for life, and I’m no longer ashamed.
For reasons I’m yet to know, I’ve never been able to truly want (or be) less. I’ve always worn my muchness like a signature scent. Fragrant and head-turning, even when I tried to mask.
I’m greedy as hell. And I’m not ashamed.
I don’t want an almost-life. I want a Soul-led, settled in my body, open-hearted, earnest YES of a life– and it’s not that I think I’m “so special” as to deserve it… it’s that I believe it’s why we came here. (Yes, all of us).
You can’t “deserve” what’s already yours, anyway. It just is.
It’s your birthright to be unashamed, in your muchness. To be who you are.
The price of entry is less privilege or permission, or being a “special someone” but rather the heart-wrenching willingness to live in devotion to the Truth (and maybe the willingness to be to be a little cringe, too).
The Truth will fuck you up– and, as we all know, it will also set you free.
So my friend, what’s the Truth for you today? What is it that you really want? Who is it that you really are?
I implore you to devote yourself to it. Let it break you open. Let it reveal your True Self. Let it make you new.
Let yourself be greedy for life.
I am greedy for Life
So I will grieve
A thousand deaths.
I want it all.
I am greedy for the Truth
so I will say goodbye
A thousand times.
(And I have).
I want it all.
I want it all.
I want it all.
I am greedy for Love
So my heart will break
And I will grieve
A thousand years.
I will feel it all.
I’m so greedy and
God is so giving.
She gives it all
She holds it all
She sustains it all.
I’m so greedy, and
She tells me she will
Satiate my hunger.
She tells me
All that’s mine to do
Now, is let life live me.
I will feel it all.
I will feel it all.
I will feel it all.
I’m so greedy
For all life has
To offer.
I want it all.
Updates & what I’m musing on lately–
🌞 LIBERATED LOVE | I just finished Liberated Love by Mark Groves & my friend
and wow, I can’t recommend it enough if healing from codependency & developing secure attachment is part of your spiritual practice.🌞 PRIVATE COACHING - SOLD OUT | I am delightfully booked for private coaching clients. If you’d like to reserve a seat, please get on my private coaching waitlist and book a 20 minute consultation.
🌞 ELEMENTAL EMBODIMENT RETREAT - SOLD OUT | This September I’ll be gathering with 14 of you, alongside my co-facilitator Melissa Benintendi to bridge the scientific, spiritual, somatic and shamanic on the lands of my own teachers here in the Ozarks. Melissa and I have recorded 2 podcast episodes in preparation for the retreat, which you can listen to here.
If you’re interested in attending next year, join the waitlist right here.
🌞MUCHNESS MASTERMIND | Next week, I’ll officially open the doors!
The Muchness Mastermind is a 4 month experience full of somatic alchemy, group coaching and Sacred Enneagram: leaving you with capacity for vibrant visibility, deep intimacy & sacred self-expression.
You will learn to experience your healthy Dynamic Range (without feeling like “too much” and “not enough” all at once).
When you finally alchemize the shame, fear and disappointment that you’re not for everyone, you’ll finally trust your True Nature, access your unique Power & learn to play your part well. That’s what we will do in the Muchness Mastermind.
If you have a hunch this is for you, hit reply & let me know. I’ll send you all the info now. ;)
🌞 MAPPING HEALTH | Inside the FORTRESS this month we are exploring all the ways our bodies experience “resonance.”
The sensations associated with Resonance often are: more space, calm, peacefulness, warmth that feels good, coolness that feels good, vulnerability that feels pleasant, relief, pleasure, pleasurable tingling & more. Where many healing modalities incessantly focus on what’s wrong, needing fixing and broken, in the FORTRESS we begin with what’s well, so that well-being can spread to other areas of your life. :) You can get on the waitlist for the FORTRESS right here.
🌞 CHAPPELL & CHARLI HAVE MY HEART | Toggling back and forth between Apple & Good Luck Babe, I’m having a bratty, queer pop muchness summer.
Here’s my MUCHNESS playlist. ;)
🌞 DANCE ALCHEMY | I host a monthly ecstatic dance class in Springfield, MO. The next one is this Friday, July 19 (tomorrow).
Goodness is coming. Cheers to your muchness!
Madison
